What I’ve Learned

by Amanda Paul
March 20, 2010
a poem about love and friendship 

I’ve learned to look much harder for the things that I can’t find,
I’ve learned that maybe it’s okay if I just say what’s on my mind,
I’ve learned to never cry for moments that I can’t erase,
and never run for rabbits that are way too fast to chase.
It’s safe to say, there is no way, this fractured fairytale won’t mend.
‘cause if there was no beginning, then how could there be an end?

I’ve learned that living can be wonderful, you gotta look just right,
I’ve learned that losing grip can happen, so you gotta hold on tight,
and though I don’t believe in miracles, I try to make my own,
I’ve learned that it’s okay to stay away and it’s okay to be alone,
and to never take the time to feel the damage that it brings,
learning hope and wishful thinking are two very different things.

I know the cutting edge gets duller and the harshness will subside,
You know, even though it’s settled, I still feel it deep inside.
It’s that awful charming train wreck that I never could deny,
It’s that pleasant suffocation that just never seems to die,
If you look a little closer, then you’ll see it’s all okay,
If I thought your ears could take it, then I’d have so much to say,

If we laugh at all the moments we repressed or just forgot,
then memories, once meaningless, could somehow mean a lot,
‘cause even if I hold on tight, my masterpiece still breaks,
if I were good at understanding then I’d never make mistakes,
but I realize I cannot break what holds together you and me
my steady spirit took a shot or two,
but it’s just fine, 
and so are we.

What I’ve learned has healed me, and helped me to pull through,
find missing pieces to my puzzles, and do things I’d never do,
It’s relieved the brutal fear accepting what I always knew
‘cause what I’ve learned that meant the most 
was what I’ve learned from you.